Month: August 2012

Different century-tempting thing

Have you ever image yourself somewhere else ,I mean in different epoch,place ,with different people,different surrounding ? Does this appeal to you?

Well, it is said that every age has its own charm and magic ,it represents how the human kind is developed throughout time ,how human history is consisted of events that explain why something happened ,where and to whom. It is interesting because we get used to thing that everything happens because of the consequences of another things. Hence,we think about the time  as a rectilinear arrow which moves only in one direction-straight forward.No way to go back !

So,this vision makes sense and nobody has enough evidence to proclaim and justify the opposite ,but to me is not enough .Very often ,I think about myself being in another epoch ,maybe in Jean Ostean’s age ,when the men were real gentlemen and the ladies had to sit in the garden,drink tea or ostensibly read something interesting while they gossip secretly .When after the first kiss ,the man proclaim his true love to his beloved one ,and waiting without patience to know whether his feelings are mutual (yes ,I am hopeless romantic) .Sometimes ,I dream about living in France ,in Palace of Versailles with Marie Antoinette (before The French revolution,of course) and eating tarts and cakes every day. With the whole luxury,magnificence and the masked balls with all beauty dresses and masks ,and nobody knows who exactly speak with him ,and someone can whisper you a secrets. Splendid!

But then I make the decision that I don’t have a desire to die of famine or the black death and my fantasy is gone . It was so alluring and tempting ,but the reality is entirely different .Fine ,I don’t have a choice and I am just forced to accept the ugly true …without Marie Antoinette ,without cakes and ribbons in my hair .Why there is no any other alternative ,like …time machine (like Doctor Who’s TARDIS) ? I promise ,I won’t be selfish and I will let to other people to use it ,too .Moreover  ,I won’t misappropriate with it ,I will use it only when the weight of boredom is too heavy on my shoulders and I definitely won’t change the history and kill Hitler (by the way which is hard to resist).

I guess ,there is no hope (a little ,tiny hope) and I have to watch the new Woody Allen’s film “Midnight in Paris” witch by the way is about time traveling and the main character is lucky enough to have chance to choose between the past and the present (I am little envy at him).

I hope I am not the only one who dream about the past centuries and places .

What about you?

Need to express yourselve

Yes,we don’t need more positive books full of wisdom (like “The secret” ,for example) .You don’t believe ,well it’s your choice .But to me these things that people in recent years ,tend to be with rather negative attitude than positive ,are complete bollocks .There is speculation here.No,no ,no I am not mad (as far as I am concerned). However ,only think about it , why suddenly so many books about the positive attitude appears in the bookshop .At first ,it sounds great and when you look at the shelves and read about the 10 easiest way to be happy.Oh,how cute,but,no !Thanks!

First of all ,there is nothing wrong to be sad and under weather from time to time and it’s healthy ,too. The synchrony have to exist , we can’t have only bad or good days ,it’s meaningless and unattainable .If we want to appreciate the sweet taste of the happiness ,we have to taste the sadness ,too.

Secondly, If i want to be worried,sad or even irritated ,just let me be.That is the easiest way for something to fade away,let it be .My negative emotions needs to be expressed ,like any other emotions and I am sure I can handle them (and many other people can,too). So,we don’t need to be cheerful and jolly at the moment when we are pissed off and we don’t want our emotions to be distorted in any other way.So,excuse me but I can’t buy your book “how to change our life and to be happy (in 7 steps) ‘” ,Miss/Mister.

Third, this is not against the positive psychology,not at all.It is about the millions thoughtless books ,written by people who claim that knows everything about happiness and how to achieve it (but they actually earn many from our desperation to be happy).

We are completely normal human being with all variety of emotions and feeling ,some of us can pretend that they are more sensible than others ,but actually we are all the some. There is a episode of BBC Horizond called “OUT OF CONTROL”,it is about how our unconscious mind control almost entirely every our action in our live .Does it really true ,I don’t know ,maybe some day we might know the right answer .However ,in this episode there is extremely fascinating experiment which shows that our attitudes towards life is rather positive than negative .When we say, “It’s being so cheerful that keeps me going”, we may be expressing a deeper truth about how the mind has evolved to persuade us that the future will be better than the past.

We need to laugh,to cry,to cherish the moments ,to regrets about past …It’s our nature.Let it be.

“You can stay in the same place and still find ways to leave people”

One of my favorite quotes ever ,from Beginners (2010) film by Mike Mills .This is not one blockbuster Hollywood production,no it’s one wonderful experience .This type of movie is which at the beginning you are not completely sure whether is worth it,but in the end it leaves you with big smile on your face .It really makes you happy and gratified ,and you want to watch it again and again.

The story is not extraordinary one,but you will be fascinated by the easy way it flourish in front of you.It’s a story about how you truly disclose yourself to others for the first time in your life ,how courageous and brave you are to show your real side .Also,it is about how despite the fact that you encounter difficulties(or harsh time in your life) and you are not happy,somehow you find a way to be happy again. It’s like paradox , you are happy and simultaneously you are not.It’s about finding yourselves somewhere in between.

This film is about how we think we have a vision of the whole picture ,but actually we see only small part of it and then we learn how to explore the world around us .

I am really impressed by the Mélanie Laurent who play Anna  in the story .Her character is really strange to me (in a good way ,of course) and the some time so appealing and charmin.This charcter relates to people who live life on their own way ,without thinking and worrying about the other’s people opinion .It’s about the people who at first side seems odd ,but at the second glass they capture you and make you feel comfortable at their presence.

You should watch this movie , it’s different ,imposing and captivating .

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Expectations-too difficulth to deal with

It could be enormous or tiny change ,it depends on many things .Changes happen every day ,sometimes more unexpected ,some time they are foregone. We know that the only way to survive under this pressure is to adjust to the possibility of change . That’s right , we have to rely on our expectation and hope for the best alternative .

The expectations hold us on the ground ,make us world seems solid and stable ,they prepare us for the best or for the worst . But what happens when our expectations a fanciful rather than realistic. The disappointment comes and warns us that actually we are not so objective as we think . We have an impression that our whole life was as fragile as a bible and now everything seems different and confusing .Then ,who  is more disappointed , we –because we had a wrong perception of what might happen or the people who expect us to  be something that we are not .In my believing ,the score is equal .

…unexpected events happen and overtake our expectation ,leaving us dizzy and shocked,lying on the ground. Yes , sometimes it happens exactly the opposite we hope for , sometimes people response in completely different way .Because the unexpected things have the possibility to change our life forever .This swift can change our personality and makes us better person or quite the opposite one.

Some people says “no expectation ,no disappointments “.

It is also true that we can’t control anything ,even the next day or the day after tomorrow .

Life is too short or the planet Earth moves too fast .

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Tell me I can’t

…and I am going to prove you the opposite. I can’t recall how many times this happened to me and if I have to be honest is wonderful experience (at the beginning we all don’t know it yet).

I remember my first experience with this provoking phrase . I was eight years old and I really wanted to have a huge puzzle with 1000 pieces .One day ,after a lot of muttering ,my father bought me one wonderful puzzle which depicted ancient map of the world. I was in great excitement and with shaking hands opened the puzzle box I was ready to assemble the pieces . After a while I felt a little desperate because I couldn’t manage to put the pieces properly ,then my father came and said “Oh ,can you assemble this by yourself or you can’t? “with a great smile on his face .At first I though that he mocked at me ,but he then offered to help me only at the beginning and reluctantly I accepted the help. Well,it took me a week to put all the pieces together ,but eventually at the end I felt only the feeling of great accomplishment .

When I grew up ,once my father told me “Tell to someone that he is not capable to do something and you will see his great potential alive. ”

Thank you ,father for this great lesson (but he still remind me this phrase occasionally ,just in case). What I can tell you for sure ,from my experience ,is that this “you can’t” is the key for the determination in life.Because can unlock all hidden potential and inspiration in us and leads to our best achievements .

So ,the next time when you hear this words ,don’t get upset or annoying ,don’t get it only as a challenge ,just receive it as a challenge to yourself, too and possibility to show how great you are and what you can do !

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Close to someone

We know perfectly well how the world could be unpleasant place ,how people could be vicious ,and how eventually we need a place where everything is fine.

The human nature is a really peculiar thing , sometimes we pretend that we don’t want to interact with other people,with the people who we really need to be close . Dignity ,pride (it could be everything,sometimes without specific reason). It sound ridiculous and amusement and it’s true.

The problem.We make a choices ,decisions with who we want to be close and with who not. Does that make our decision precise and accurate ?Very often ,it doesn’t matter .Because as long we are feeling save and happy everything is just perfect ,well people change ,grow up and just have a different meaning and perception than ours . Then ,we have two options,to accept the change or just to walk away and never look back. So,friend or foe, well life is unexpected !Nobody can guarantee nothing to nobody However it’s still really fascinating and astounding  to realize how things ‘ve changed without our awareness .But we ‘ve change ,too ,we just are not able to realize that .We hurt people,they hurt us,we don’t overcome that or they don’t  ,end of the story…now ,we are just “somebody who they used to know”.

Anyway, despite this we are tenacious and stubborn and start searching…for new best friends ,lovers…

Because at the end of the day ,all we want is to feel someone’s presence and forget for a moment or two that we are  alone .Choosing these people ,we make them our second family and home , another one who we admire ,love and ready to defend if it’s necessary.

Here is the solution :we don’t have to pretend that we are solid and insensible ,since occasionally the invasion of personal space ,it can be exactly what we need. (and the best things happen by a chance…who knows?)

My story is not only mine

We all have stories ,bad ones and good ,interesting and not so fascinating ,and story from which are feel ashamed. As a narrators ,sometimes we exaggerate or underrate some details in the stories (of course , in our favor).

This phenomenon usually happens when there is not witness of our story while we tell it so enthusiastic. That happens because if the story is a bad one, we have to defense ourselves and blame someone else for our misfortune ,on the other hand if the story is a lovely good one ,we are almost obliged to stretch the truth in order to feel how other people envy our happiness (there are glints in my eyes).When we tell the story ,we feel like a hollywood celebrity at the verge of getting the Oscar (without the applauses) ,all attention is on us and everyone absorb every single word we say.

Anyway , everything is fine if we are not on the side of the listener . That’s pretty complicated. If the person who tells the story is not a friend of ours ,we have to play on “truth or lies” in order to understand the story . This is the hardest part of the whole process as a good listeners to understand when exactly the narrator relate the real story without repetitious details .

You know the renowned proverb “Every story has two sides” (if you ask me there are at least two sides). At the light of this , it is impossible for one story to be told precisely without the unattainable interfere of the narrator’s attitude and emotional aspect .

From this comes the discrepancies and confusions , because every story is enriched with someone’s emotions and slightly (or significantly ) curve the original.

Finally ,the stories are reflections of different events with different people , how they are represented is another question of discussion.

Maybe ,that’s why I like to listen the same  story over and over again.