Month: October 2012

everyone want to be famous,nobody ask for the price

I can’t count the endless number of teenage girls and young women who truly admires Merlin Monroe, and why not. She is one of the most famous people who ever have lived, her image is almost everywhere and she is immortal example of the confident and independent woman.

But if we think about over again and trying to understand how she was became famous ,we will be outrageous to know that everything happened because of her pretty face.Yes ,she was gorgeous and pretty woman ,there is no doubt , and knew how to use this power. Here is the great irony , despite being so pretty ,she was probably malcontent and uneasy about her life and there is a lot of evidence of these assumptions.

First of all, she used to grow up not knowing the real identity of her father. Besides , Monroe’s birth certificate name’s was changed from Mortensen to Baker by her mother. Consequently, the real identity of her father is veiled in mystery and this can confuse and traumatize every child. So let’s say that her childhood was not a bed of roses. Later in her life ,this blur ,who exactly was her father ,had a great impact on her relationships with the other men. From psychological point of view she might have sought her daddy in every men with whom she was in relationship. This assumption explains a lot,especially why she had prefer elder men for her partners.

Moreover ,it is not a secret that Monroe had three marriages ,and all of them ended with divorce. This fact talks about her insecure nature and in some aspect about her lack of mind’s piece. Although she might have believed in love and in good marriage ,she left all her relationships devastated and hopeless. Besides all these fails apparently had a huge contribution to her self-esteem and therefore she didn’t feel quite well in her skin. It could have been a really harsh time for her ,everyone talked about her ,everyone knew her name,but nobody truly knew her real nature ,her hopes and fears.

What more , to be a famous has its advantages but also has its price. We all know that the pressure could be dangerous and it is a big spoon for some people. Well,one of these people were Monroe,that’s why she used to have a long experience with psychoanalysis.

Despite searching for solutions about her problems ,Marilyn’s life finished like a suicide attempt to hide from all the pain. Of course ,there are too many speculations about how exactly she died and why but I have a doubt whether someone know the truth story.

As many other famous people suddenly makes such as extreme decision to end their life, almost in the verge of their success ,Marilyn is not a such exception .Maybe when someone (especially someone who is celebrity) decide to convict a suicide ,at first he/she wants to make impression that everything is fine. Like she/he has a great plans and has in mind great ideas about the future, then suddenly without warning he/she is gone. No future. No plans .Nothing. Maybe this is a part of protection which aim is to prevent someone from intrudes and fails the intention of death.

There are too many possibilities and assumption ,questions without answers and answers which due to new questions.

My point of view is that ,the vast majority of the people sees only the flashy side of being famous.They see the big smile,flashy cars,the way actors act or  listen only the voice of the singer without seeing the sadness in his eyes.They don’t admire their idols because of their pain or sleepless nights ,they don’t know about their nightmare. They only see the whole picture and don’t pay attention to the details.

For me, women like Monroe are soldiers and people with great spirit and courageous rather than one pretty face or fashion icon.

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Don’t take anytjing personally ,if you can

 

 

Well,it is easier to be said than done,like many other things which requires to be courageous and bold. Actually ,I am on that point of my life which tells me that I really need a change ,it doesn’t matter if it is a slight change ,I desperately need it.

After a days of endless considerations and sleepless night ,I’ve decided that the desire and courageousness are not enough. Something that I need to start with any change is starting point.I know it sounds a bit ridiculous ,but it is also one of the most important part of process called change . The first step is to be aware of the fact that something in our life is not quite right ,the second part is to considered this as a need of change. Fine ,I had a long conversation with my aunt ,and she recommended  one book called “The four agreements” by Don Migiuel Ruiz for me .At first glance ,I’ve recognised this book as one of the endless sequels to the secret or positive thinking -type books ,but initially I was wrong .
This book seems to me as a kind of guide how to be a better person,to be you and to know who you are .
But here is the hook , nothing is given without price and you have to work hard in order to achieve  what you want.
“The four agreements”(like you have already known) is consisted of four different agreement or steps to free your mind and find the peace with yourself.
The first agreement  is be impeccable with your word ,witch means to be careful how to use the words, and trying to use them in the direction of truth and love ,more often than usual.This agreement /solution is considered as the hardest of all four.

But I encountered a futher great obstucles with the second one “don’t take anything personally”. How ever possible is that ,not to take anything personally. This solution is connected with our “ego” and sense of identity and our perceptions of who we are.

On one hand ,during our entire life ,we depend on the other people to tells who we are ,who we are not,what we can and what we are incapable to do.So ,it is harsh task just to throw away everything we know about ourselves ,just regret it and rush into another different conceptions of our own existence and perceptions. It is almost like the Hamlet’s question “To be or not to be”.We are just between knowing who we are and the complete lack of understanding who we are truly.Ok,I don’t say that we have to agree with everything that other people says about us ,but this conception of denial just makes me feel bewildered and astonished at the some time .

According to this agreement ,when someone says to you that “You are such a nice person to talk to” is because he/she is in good mood ,but if the some person tells you that you are such a terrible company,he is bad mood.Therefore ,nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Yes ,it makes sense ,but in my believing is exceedingly hard task to achieve ,and you might need a lot of patience and compromise with yourselves and with others.
My question is ,why it is so hard not to take everythin personal,is it possible not to listen what other people says ,even the one you love?