Well,it is easier to be said than done,like many other things which requires to be courageous and bold. Actually ,I am on that point of my life which tells me that I really need a change ,it doesn’t matter if it is a slight change ,I desperately need it.
After a days of endless considerations and sleepless night ,I’ve decided that the desire and courageousness are not enough. Something that I need to start with any change is starting point.I know it sounds a bit ridiculous ,but it is also one of the most important part of process called change . The first step is to be aware of the fact that something in our life is not quite right ,the second part is to considered this as a need of change. Fine ,I had a long conversation with my aunt ,and she recommended one book called “The four agreements” by Don Migiuel Ruiz for me .At first glance ,I’ve recognised this book as one of the endless sequels to the secret or positive thinking -type books ,but initially I was wrong .
This book seems to me as a kind of guide how to be a better person,to be you and to know who you are .
But here is the hook , nothing is given without price and you have to work hard in order to achieve what you want.
“The four agreements”(like you have already known) is consisted of four different agreement or steps to free your mind and find the peace with yourself.
The first agreement is be impeccable with your word ,witch means to be careful how to use the words, and trying to use them in the direction of truth and love ,more often than usual.This agreement /solution is considered as the hardest of all four.
But I encountered a futher great obstucles with the second one “don’t take anything personally”. How ever possible is that ,not to take anything personally. This solution is connected with our “ego” and sense of identity and our perceptions of who we are.
On one hand ,during our entire life ,we depend on the other people to tells who we are ,who we are not,what we can and what we are incapable to do.So ,it is harsh task just to throw away everything we know about ourselves ,just regret it and rush into another different conceptions of our own existence and perceptions. It is almost like the Hamlet’s question “To be or not to be”.We are just between knowing who we are and the complete lack of understanding who we are truly.Ok,I don’t say that we have to agree with everything that other people says about us ,but this conception of denial just makes me feel bewildered and astonished at the some time .
According to this agreement ,when someone says to you that “You are such a nice person to talk to” is because he/she is in good mood ,but if the some person tells you that you are such a terrible company,he is bad mood.Therefore ,nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Yes ,it makes sense ,but in my believing is exceedingly hard task to achieve ,and you might need a lot of patience and compromise with yourselves and with others.
My question is ,why it is so hard not to take everythin personal,is it possible not to listen what other people says ,even the one you love?